It’s that time of year again – Braeden’s birthday, a week-long fiesta where Braeden basks in the attention and spoils that come with his special day. We’ll be celebrating Braeden’s big day on Saturday and as always, he is full of joyful anticipation. And as always, I’m feeling reflective. I’m not sure if all parents feel this way when their child with a disability is another year older but I’m happy to say, this year I’m feeling more positive in my reflections.
Braeden is such a fun-filled and joyous soul it’s hard to ever feel sad around him, but when he was younger, I often felt flat after his birthday. At the time, despite being a positive gal, I’d feel that another year had passed us by and the gap between Braeden and his peers was more obvious. The toys we were buying hadn’t matured and I felt like we were treading water, while other kids his age were charging ahead with age-appropriate progress.
It took a while, but I learned to focus on what Braeden could do. There were always achievements to celebrate, no matter how small they might seem to someone who hadn’t seen how hard he had worked to achieve them. It was a big and important turning point when I realised this, and it has helped to use this approach every day, not just on his birthday. There is still a pesky little voice in my head always worrying about the future and each year I note that Hubby and I are also getting older and we need Braeden to get better at being away from the family. He’s such a family guy but at some stage he will need to live independently of us, and I’d like to do my best to make sure he can do this happily for longer than a weekend at respite.
So, why am I so much more positive about my reflections this year in particular? Well, there are many factors, his progress at the gym with his goals, his walking (almost running) at Frame Running and his physical fitness that has stemmed from both activities. But, the most important contributor to my positive reflections is his involvement with preschools. He loves doing his Wheely Good Chats with Braeden program in the preschools, but his regular visits to two preschools is giving him so much more than I could have ever anticipated. Braeden has the social connection he craves; he has a community that embraces him, he has fun with the children and relationships with the educators. He can use the skills he has gained since he was at preschool himself to now retry the activities he couldn’t participate in when he was younger. He has people that warmly greet him every week and include him in special events. This week Braeden has been invited to Book Week at one of the preschools and last week he was invited to Kindness Day at another.
As a mother I always wondered where Braeden would fit in this world. Living with a disability is certainly not easy, but add to that being non-verbal and it kicks things up a notch. Braeden is now embracing alternative communication, and with the encouragement of a wonderful speech pathologist and his support workers, he has the opportunity to use it every day in the community. For a social young man, he now has a better way of connecting with the world and he is loving it. The preschool program has certainly given Braeden a sense of belonging and as his mother I get goosebumps when I see the videos of the children following him like he is the Pied Piper and interacting with him without hesitation.
I cannot thank his amazing speech pathologist enough for running with my crazy idea of starting a preschool program. And of course, the crazy idea would have remained just an idea without the welcoming educators at the various preschools but particular thanks goes to the preschool where he visits weekly.
So, this birthday I don’t anticipate feeling flat at all. We continue to try to ensure that every day is fulfilling for Braeden and we still have the Ultimate List of things we’d like to give him the opportunity to do (which when I take another look at it, we haven’t ticked off a single thing since I made it).
Braeden loves hard and cares deeply for his family, as we do him. We feel incredibly lucky to be Braeden’s parents and I know that Amelia feels the same pride and love for him that we do. For his birthday we’ll be kicking up our heels to give him the best time possible, while celebrating our guy for the person he is and his year of achievements.
We are looking forward to seeing what the next year has in store for him.
If you’d like to learn more about our parenting journey with Braeden and other birthday reflections you can catch up below.
Finding out Braeden had cerebral palsy
